There are worse things in Disney than gay characters…

We all spend endless hours scrolling aimlessly through Facebook, twitter, and any other social media; and some days it’s really good, inspiring and positive. Other days, it’s ridiculously negative, judgemental and overbearing.

I came across a post last night that contained a theory that Oaken from Frozen is a gay character. I read through the comments. I saw people saying that it’s “wrong” to have gay characters in childrens’ movies as it will influence their children to be gay. It’s as if people only care about gay characters since the release of Beauty and The Beast (2017).

These people fail to realise that in these same movies they’re letting their children watch; there is murder, kidnapping, assaults and paedophilia to name a few.

Scar murdered his own brother.
Clayton got violently hung by a tree.
Frollo was a paedophile.
In Pinocchio the kids drink, smoke and play pool.
Pocahontas was about 11-12 years old in real life.
Belle was held captive by an abusive character, albeit opinions will vary whether this was Stockholm Syndrome or not.
Ariel had to change her whole self for a man to notice her.
Prince Charming probably wouldn’t have even recognised Cinderella wearing rags.
Jafar tries to manipulate and abuse Jasmine.
…these are just a few I can think of on the spot.

And yet… here we are, in the 21st Century, still blabbing on about how having ‘gay’ people on our TV’s damages our kids…

What’s really damaging them?

*I am probably one of Disney’s biggest fans. But I can recognise the darker sides of Disney when it comes to an argument like this one. 


I got a puppy today!

Her name is Vitani. She’s 8 weeks old. She’s ridiculously tiny, especially compared to her siblings. She was the runt. 

We were going to look for a puppy for my Mum, and I had mentioned a few weeks ago how I’d love one because I know it would get me out of the house more, and improve my mental health- but I hadn’t necessarily planned on getting one this soon. I tried to close my mind and heart off, but as soon as the man opened the cage door, I saw her, picked her up and she held on for dear life. I was blind to the other four. I instantly fell in love with this tiny thing, and then her Dad came over to me. He was long furred, black and white and he had one blue eye and one brown eye. He was ridiculously handsome, and his eyes were incredible. 

I knelt down to his level, and he snuggled in between me and Vitani. I spoke to him, and asked him if it was ok if I took her home. I promised him I’d look after her. He happily hugged us both, and I honestly believe that he gave me his blessing. 

Wow, Chels… deep for a post about dogs ha 

Okay, well, yes. That’s Vitani. And I love her. 

I feel pretty ugly today… 

In every sense of the word. The sun was blazing today, and I somehow managed to convince myself to stay in black skinny jeans and jacket. Society really got us fucked up, didn’t it? 

And then, to make it worse, I clicked TimeHop. One of my posts was “these 7am mornings are killing me. Let’s get today over with.” Sadness hit me like a truck with that. I realised just how much time I wished away, when I should have held it, tightly and close to me. 

Live and learn, I guess. 

So, I posted an original last night… 

I wrote a song to a free YouTube instrumental a few months ago. I wrote it because I found myself in tears every day with all the news reports of the violence in the world. 

I know 247 in 12 hours isn’t that much, really. But to me that’s an accomplishment, and people really seem to like it and the message it holds. 

I hope so anyway.  

I feel good today. 

Why I Will Never…

In the last few years, I’ve overcome a few things and I learned what I will never do again, and why.

Share My Passwords With A Partner…
Trust is important in any relationship. My personal opinion on trust is that is the base foundation of a good love, and hopefully a lasting one. (I wouldn’t know, yet).
I could happily give my password to a partner. I am a faithful woman with nothing to hide; but I won’t ever do it. Why?
Because it is problematic. Intimacy comes from sharing select private information with people, not giving them the keys to your privacy kingdom.
When you share your passwords, you aren’t only violating your own privacy; you’re violating the privacy of anyone you have, or will correspond with. People send messages to people assuming that person is the only one who will see it. (Unless it’s a group chat).

Be Afraid To Fall In Love…
I have had my heart broken time after time. I spent over six years in toxic relationships. I have been cheated on, and treated like shit. But, no matter how many times I have been hurt, I have learned to no longer fear love.
After these relationships, I took time for myself. I researched about everything I wanted to understand, and I started to open my mind to life.
Having your trust broken in a relationship is the worst – and it is incredibly hard to overcome and learn to trust again. My self worth declined in those relationships and I forgot what I was worth. I’m not looking for love, now, I’m actually really content without it. I have the love I need from my friends and family. So, I know, when the time comes – I won’t be afraid to fall in love. Love wholeheartedly. Turn pain into art. Learn from it. Embrace it all. 

Explain My Worth To Anyone…
For years, I felt like a weak person. I probably was. I didn’t understand that people flow; we move in and out of each other’s lives for different purposes. I had attachment issues, which meant that when I got to know someone, I would hold on to them for dear life. My actions would change depending on how it suited the person, and I was continuously trying to please everyone because rejection became one of my worst fears. It didn’t matter how badly someone was treating me; I still begged for their love and acceptance like a lost dog.
Now, I know my own worth. It took a long time to realise I am worth more. At the end of the day, (favourite quote from Princess Diaries up and coming…) “People can only make you feel inferior with your consent.”
I have decided I will no longer adapt my personality to suit another person. They can either take me as I am, or leave me.

Allow My Past To Define My Future…
We all make mistakes. Small ones, big ones, and sometimes really, really, shitty ones. It’s all part of learning. I learned this year that sometimes mistakes can creep back up on you, even years later and really bite you hard. But, I decided (with the help of my family, of course) that I would no longer run from my mistakes, no matter how humiliating they were. I decided I would use them to enlighten others – to use my story to teach. But this isn’t to say that I’ve ran and told everybody my story. I tell it to those I trust, and to those I fear are heading in the same direction. If the only good thing that comes from it, is stopping somebody else making the same mistake, I’m okay with that.

Apologise For How I Feel…
This has to be my biggest hurdle I had to overcome. Growing up, I always knew I was a little different. I felt strange things, and I couldn’t process my emotions fully. Only two years ago, I found out what was ‘wrong’. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was devastated at first, but last year, I got into counselling and my whole perspective changed.
Being mentally ill wasn’t a bad thing, as long as I had it under control. It doesn’t define who I am as a person. Sometimes, I feel things very very strongly, and I have always been opinionated. I used to get hated on a lot for that, but I’ve realised: that’s not me being mentally ill. Thats me being human. And humans are entitled to feel things as deeply as they need to. If I believe in something, I’m going to say it. As long as I’m not hurting anybody in the process, I will never apologise for how I feel.

So, there it is… my Why I Will Never list!